Building a Humanist Community: Beyond the Ceremony
For many couples, a humanist wedding ceremony is a deeply meaningful event—an expression of their values, their relationship, and their future. But what happens after the confetti settles and the vows are said? Can that brief, powerful moment of shared belief and celebration become something more enduring?
That was the central question in a recent conversation among a group of humanist thinkers, celebrants, and supporters. The topic: how to build a lasting humanist community—one that inspires, welcomes, and empowers people far beyond the wedding day.
The Ceremony as a Starting Point
Tim, who’s been conducting humanist ceremonies since 2005, opened the conversation with a frank reflection: while humanist ceremonies often create a sense of community in the moment, few couples go on to become involved in the movement itself.
“People are busy. When you’re getting married, you have better things to do than sit around discussing philosophy.”
Still, he added, those ceremonies do form communities—briefly. “The challenge is turning that spark into something lasting.”
A Community of Values, Not Just Events
The group shared a recurring theme: the power of simple, shared values. As Dawn put it:
“A simple message of Be Kind, Be Human, Be Good—and let religious communities argue about everything else!”
Humanism, by its nature, celebrates individual thought and personal ethics. That independence, while empowering, may also make it harder to foster collective identity.
What Keeps People Connected?
Susan pointed out that while membership in humanist societies often spikes due to weddings (which sometimes require membership), those numbers rarely translate into long-term engagement.
“People join because they have to, not because they feel part of something.”
Mike proposed creating a follow-up moment to keep the connection alive:
“What if, on your anniversary, you shared the vows you made in a short video? A kind of personal ‘mini-documentary’ that keeps the values alive and inspires others.”
Tim agreed, noting that many couples don’t realize that humanist weddings were made legal in Scotland only after decades of determined campaigning.
Learning from Activism and Other Movements
Garfield, a veteran of activism, offered an outsider’s perspective:
“Religious communities used to unite people. Now, we need to find that same mojo—but with rational, evidence-based values. Humanists should be leading the way on climate change, equality, and civil rights.”
He emphasized the importance of doing over just talking. Shared action builds community faster than shared belief alone.
Informal Spaces, Real Connection
Several participants praised the success of informal, agenda-free gatherings like the Edinburgh Coffee Mornings—spaces where humanist values could emerge naturally through conversation.
Richard added that simply feeling like you’re part of something—even passively—can be powerful. “You don’t always need to be active to feel connected.”
Inclusivity in Practice
Susan shared moving examples of humanist weddings where families from Muslim and Catholic backgrounds were included in the ceremonies with blessings and readings—demonstrating that humanism can be both principled and inclusive.
“It was about what they wanted. The parents did their blessing. It was so inclusive… and moving.”
What Comes Next?
The group concluded with a renewed sense of purpose and several action ideas:
- Encourage creative campaigns around anniversaries and ceremonies
- Revive local meetups (like coffee mornings) to foster real-world connections
- Craft clearer messaging around the activism and ethical foundations of humanism
- Rethink membership models to prioritize genuine engagement over obligation
As Tim said:
“We’ve done the ceremonies – now let’s build the community.”
Perhaps that’s the foundation of a stronger, more connected humanist movement—one built not just on shared beliefs, but shared action and mutual respect.
Our next community meeting will be on Zoom at 6.30 pm on Monday 4th August 2025, when we’ll be talking about creating a meaningful life.
We’d love to hear your thoughts. If you would like to join the discussion, please join Humankind
